Everything was great he was always around. I admit it started Bc on Valentine’s Day I didnt talk to him all the way home 1 hour trip Bc he introduced me to his friend that I was his friend. I admit I’m insecure and have anger issues. He still came around just not as strong as before. 2 months in the relationship he started always stressing about his life, kids, work and pushed me away.
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Scott Peck wrote in his book, The Road Less Traveled, which is the inspiration for this article. Healing from natural dysfunctional attractions opens a person up to healthy functional relationships. I honestly think this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The hourly constant pain, missing him so much.
He has been in the country for 4 months, I haven’t seen him in two months. Last time I was meant to see him, I cancelled. Tom then started texting me with jokes that were a bit dark, funny and kinda had a sexual nature to it. But its just the darker humour/dark side which I could feel all the time started to attract me. my curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know more. I did try to push him away and I had cold moments. He didn’t give up though, carried on until I slowly let him in.
All the emotional, physical luring from his side was true. Unbelievable cruelty, unexpected from a man. If this guy was bpd, it would be a revolutionary information -I can let go of him. He even insited on helping me to hold my back because it was “too heavy”. I thought that he tests me….as a bag being a symbol of “vagina” or whatever….
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If you find that you need male attention and approval in order to feel worthy and attractive and good about yourself, you need to stop. You need to take a break and find ways to give yourself the love and validation you desperately seek from others. It might seem like BPD is more common in women than in men, but there are many reasons why getting a diagnosis and treatment for BPD is hard for men. When men living with BPD get help, it is usually for substance use disorders. Women living with BPD look for treatment more often than men.
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I am finding that my behavior is jeopardizing the relationship and i really want this to work. I am taking steps to improve and am willing to put in the effort to change myself but there are times when my emotions just take over and it seems that i am poweless to stop it. Are there any suggestions that you could provide that would help me remedy this? I would appreciate any help and would like to say thank you for having a great website for people like me to refer to as a resource.
He didn’t tell me right away until I looked at his medical paper he got from the doctors that he had a personality disorder. I never really met anyone with this or for that matter dated one. We broke up the other day, which we broke up before as well. We didn’t see each other often because he lives a bit further and has no car. Over text it is like he is a completely different person. He is very loving, caring, nice, and sweet over text.
That’s why the women who succeed with them are usually the confrontational, intimidating type who aren’t afraid to get in his face and leave datingjet.org/ him in the dust. I absolutely LOVE that commnet and observation. It’s 100% true and it’s wholly dedicated to validating his own self-worth.
Space when he wanted space, encouraging words, comfort, I even sent food to his house after he said there was nothing in. The second I need time or support or even a hug I get nothing from him. I’m not his therapist, in fact he won’t get any help, I wanted to be his partner and I expect some comfort back. I don’t mind being the main support or things being around him and his issues a lot of the time but I can’t cope with it never being about me ever. I worry about him but he does seem to always land on his feet. He made no real effort to fight for me or us and just said he knew he was rotten to the core and I deserve better.
He has erratic moods, gets angry to the max, sarcastic but expresses love openly and i also noticed that he often times loses it when he is stressed. I love him and hopes to help him out of this. Nobody ever gets anywhere in life by waiting.
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When I tried to explain my emotional torment, he replied it’s because he has such low esteem he has to punish himself by taking away what matters most to him. He does this with his kids sometimes too, although his ex protects them. He began verbally abusing my kids and me each night after more and more drinks supplemented with antihistamines to increase the effect.
I’m just so sick of hurting others with my uncontrolled psychotic behaviour my feels and interpersonal skills are hay wire. Why should any girl have to deal with that. In the beginning, he swept me off my feet- working 12 hour shifts and coming home to cook me 3 course dinners.. Wanting to spend every second with me .. But hey- I told myself that he must really like me a lot if he wants to just make me happy all the time. This guy was also very ambitious, he would have not risked starting something with a woman in a working place, unless I would have been a total naive lady -which I was when I met the bpd-ex.
Just after we got married, we moved jobs and now no longer work in the same company. From that moment on it has been getting worse and worse. One minute I am the best thing in his life, and the next I ‘don’t understand him’. I can’t do anything right for days, he finds fault with everything I do, he accuses me of having affairs with work colleagues, he checks my phone. If I put on something ‘nice’ (read ‘smart’) for work, I am trying to impress a man.
